Friday, October 19, 2012

Marry, Fuck, Kill...Flats Edition!

Three of the most hated shoes in all the land. Hell, Toms, are shoes made for African kids and they don't even want them. He would rather go cold then ever put on a pair of UGGS, and TB, well babe, you're shoes bunch in the back, whose terrible ideas was that?

He's Breakdown...
UGGS: KILL - Because no one should ever ever ever wear these ugly things.
Tory Burch Flats: FUCK - Probably has some money, cares about her appearance, wouldn't want to have to see or speak to her again, because she is probably a handful.
Toms: MARRY - Probably a decently cool chick, not so snobby that she's wearing Tory Burch, could probably put up with her for the length of the married.

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  1. I'd fuck tory burch because she can be my sugar mama and a wild ride, especially in a HE-some.
    I'd marry toms because i have them in every color and can't live without them (sorr-HE, don't hate me)
    I'd kill uggs because they are just, UGL-HE and it would decrease the nast-HE stench on girls feet who decide not to wear socks.

  2. Ahh come on HE, lighten up. These shoes might not be the cats meow for women but they are all perfect for us feminine guys.

  3. Amen,dear He!I co-sign with both hands, and might I just add crocks and fleece to the no,no,hell no-list.And what better way to illustrate my point, than my poem,written on sept. 24 2012

    Posted on September 24, 2012

    It excites me to sparkle away!
    Like a beacon,with
    Bling during the day
    Full gear,
    so -what-if -it’s monday sashay
    In the uniformed sea of gray,
    Beige,navy-blue,black, brown array
    Mismatched,ugly,parading away
    Adidas tracksuits, jeans, sneakers and crocks
    Playing it ”cool-man’’around the blocks.
    Fake Louis Vuitton and a fleece,
    Ugh boots and logos and ugliness-
    Logos and logos,conformity streets.
    Nothingness showin’g through.
    No further ado
    -monkey see, monkey do.
    Uniformed . Bland. Slave to the brand.
    Baaing and baaing , in unison buying
    High-Fiveing,swaggering ,lame
    You laugh that I am different
    I laugh that you’r STILL.The.SAME!
    Lest you wonder what is on my yes-yes list,
    go to


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