Hawaiian Shirt Day...Not!

"Oh, and remember: next Friday...is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans" -Bill Lumbergh

Keep them long...

He isn't sure if this guy made these himself or if money was actually spent on these bad boys, but He does this is not a good look. What's even worse is that they are so freakin tight they appear to be painted on. Who is allowing this to go on? Listen guys, its not cool to steal jeans out of your 13 year old sister's closest, cut them up and and label them cool. Jeans come as pants for a reason, please let's keep them that way.
-He

Sunbrella...

If you need an umbrella on cloudless 90 degree day; stay home. Its bad enough that umbrella warefare exists on rainy days, now we are suppose to make way for umbrella-ers on sunny days. He doesn't think that's gonna fly. If you see anyone with an umbrella on a sunny day He gives you permission to knock the umbrella out of their hands.
-He

Everyone Loves PhotoHunt...

This is a three-for-one today. See if you can find what's wrong!

He thinks the first one is pretty obvious. Even you beginners out there can figure this one out. Yes, the yellow outfit is wrong. The "murse" (man purse) does not help him look any better either. No man should ever ever own or use one of these. Ever!

Now you might struggle on finding the last thing wrong in the picture...still can't find it?

The white shoes...come on...haven't you learned anything? Two thumbs down for these cool cats.
-He

Excuse me but you're wearing a smock

Stealing clothing out of your father's closet is not gonna get you any style points. The ONLY way this outfit works is if you're not wearing anything underneath. He'll bet that isn't the situation here. Go buy some clothing that fits.
-He

Fedora is in...

Odds are you're gonna see more dudes trying to pull this look off then chicks. This is one of those uni-sex items that a girl can totally dominate, and guys should stay away from. The fedora hat isn't for every girl, but if you can pull off the edgy look, make it happen. Guys that wear these usually end up looking like a**holes (see: Jason Mraz).
-He

We covered this already..

No bra please! Ladies how many times is He gonna need to tell you. This is not a good look for you. Are you not seeing what He is seeing here? He will try asking nicely. Please Stop it!
-He

Let He know if you "I Agree" or "I Disagree" with his fashion advice by voting below.

Shoe of the Week - Tribute Pumps

Yves saint Laurent's tribute pumps are the classy girls version of stripper shoes. He is digging the 4 inch stiletto heel, something a girl that can balance in these bad boys makes me want her more. These shoes were selected this week for a very simple reason - "the higher the heel the hotter the shoe." Gone should be the days of 1"-3" heels, there just seems to be no point. Like father always said, "go big or go home"

-He

Got a suggestion for a shoe of the week? Email fashionbyhe@gmail.com

Gotta Have it...

We all remember the good old days...nothing made us happier then a color-changing tshirt that gave us all a good excuse to touch each others' chests. Great news, its back. Even though American Apparel CEO Dov Charney is firing people for being ugly, he still had time to reinvent one of the greatest shirts of all time. Get one today from American Apparel, and
start feeling each other up.
-He

NO more P*NTIES

I hate the word panties. It is a disgusting word. You will never again see that word used in this blog, nor will you ever hear it come out of He's mouth. Call it a thong, call it underwear, but NEVER EVER refer to similar garments as p*nties. Its gross. Unless your a pedophile please refrain from using the word...NO MORE P*NTIES
-He

Animals escape city zoo..

BREAKING NEWS: It appears a zebra has escaped the city zoo early this morning. No injuries have been reported. However, authorities are worried the scene could turn dangerous if the oversized animal turns against the hundreds of onlookers that have gathered.

On a real note, please refrain from wearing full animal print. Its not a good look on anyone.

-He

Summer 2010: The Bikini

Brazilian women wear the best bathing suits, no question. "If the Brazilian bathing suit emphazies one thing - the ass." American women need to write that down, post it on your mirror and get to work. You have a year to get ready. He is expecting big things from you next year ladies. Don' let He down.

-He

She's got style and class..

"This sh*t is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This sh*t is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S"

Weekend Lessons...

If you can't realize when its time for a new pair of jeans, you probably won't realize he has been cheating on you. Which I guess is good for him. Are these hand me down jeans? Can someone please explain how someone(man or woman) can wear these things out on a saturday night?

Who the f*ck would want this on their arm? He would be embarassed to bring this girl anywhere with him. No chance should this be allowed to go on. Ladies do better then this.
-He

Yucky...

Shoe of the Week...The Qween

Our newest section of the blog is called the "Shoe of the Week." This week, He has chosen The Qween by Steve Madden. It features a 4.5" heel, 1.25" platform, cork wedge sole, and gladiator straps. The perfect heel for breaking hearts all summer long.
-He

Hot Summer Dress..

He mentioned in the 2nd half of summer top ten must haves that every girl needs a summer dress. Many of you didn't know what He, so here is an example. Maxi Dress or Smocked Dress. (pic from Victoria Secret) This is a hot summer dress. It's greatness lies in the versatility:
-Beach wear (without the bathingsuit top)
-No Bra needed (sweet)
-No size discrimination (yea even large chicks can pull of this look)
-Easy Access (who doesn't appreciate efficiency)
Warning: Do not wear your grandmothers underwear with this dress. Not that you should ever wear granny p*nties in the first place. If you really think guys can't see your underwear outline, your wrong.
Let's not forget this dress can be worn with sandals, but heels always preferred.
-He

Time for a New Hoodie...

Enough already. I am getting really sick and tired of people wearing these hoodies (unless your wearing it like this chick). Great you went out and bought it in 10 different colors, you wear a different color each day. Well guess what? You are a moron. Time to take your head out of your ass and listen up.

Go buy the Alternative Hoodie. It may not be available in as many colors, however its Eco-Friendly, and 10x softer and more comfortable then the American Hoodie.

Not many people have heard of the Alternative Apparel name yet, but they are blowing up.
-He

Mrs. Clean...

When are chicks gonna learn guys like them with long hair. Gives us more to grab onto. There are very few women who can pull this look off. (Your not one of them) There are plenty of areas on a woman's body that should be shaved, let's not make the head one of them.
-He

This just makes me want to vomit

The boots are gross. Anyone with flat boots like that should return them as soon as possible. This girl could also afford to lose 10lbs from those legs. Alright I'm done with this picture, it's making me sick having to keep look at her.
-He

Indepent Fashion Blogger of the Universe...Its Official!

"Congratulations, your lovely blog has been approved! You are officially a member of IFB!
xox
Jennine

Haha she called my blog lovely. Anyway, I am honored to be accepted into such an elite fraternity of bloggers. Next stop the Pulitzer Prize.
-He

Here kitty kitty...

"I've got pussy on my mind" Nice t-shirt!
-He

Sideboob...A Final Decision

Some will argue this is a trashy look. Others will say that side boob is the new cleavage. I am going to put an end to this once-and-for-all and declare side boob to be GREAT. Thats right ladies, listen up and listen up good. Leave the bras at home, they are a thing of the past. It's time to let your sweater puppies out into the yard.
-He

Dbag

Weekends are fun...

I hope you had a good weekend. I did, nothing better then a day at the park.
-He

2nd Half of Summer Top Ten Must Haves

Just a reminder, I am a self proclaimed expert in the field of fashion. Everything I write should be taken as fact. Read the list, then go ahead and make it apart of your summer. (In no particular order)

1) High Waisted Mini Skirt - Also good for girls with a little extra. NOT a lot extra, a little extra. It hides some extra lbs. Not that you should have any.
2) Romper - Nothing better then a cute little girl in a little romper.
3) Jumpsuit - Yes a jumpsuit is different from a romper. Of course, I know this because I am an expert. For you less fortunate people. Jumpsuits are typically pants. Rompers are shorts.
4) Really Cool Bathingsuit - You want to stand out at the beach, the less material the better. Ask yourself this "Would I want to f*ck me if I saw me wearing this bathingsuit?"
5) Summer Dress - looks great with the cork wedge heels...see below. If your tall, go with the long dress
6) Boyfriend Jeans - Heels and a beater (tank top) might be the best look of the summer
7) Gym Membership - never to late to get your fat ass into shape
8) Cork Wedge Heels - remember the higher the better
9) Sunglasses - Size Does Matter. Don't be a smuck and buy glasses that cover your whole face...you will look ridiculous.
10) Short Shorts - to be worn with heels. only appropriate for those in shape. Sorry but I dont need to see your ass hanging out or your thick legs

-He

Thank You...Herve Leger

Just when you thought this whole blog was gonna be about bashing women. I go and change thing up. Welcome to the new "Thank You" section of the site. Self explanatory.

If you can find a more amazing dress on the face of this planet, well your a moron, because this is top of the foodchain. Go search google for people in this dress, everyone looks hot. Herve Leger as invited a new trend "bandage dress" - call it whatever you want, I just hope to start seeing these out in the real world more often. Check out more amazing pictures from my friends at Barstool Sports - Hot Herve Ledger Gallery
-He

Bangle me Crazy...

Bangles are HOT. I still am not sure why I enjoy them but they are a crucial part of a stylish persons wardrobe. Might be some weird bondage sh*t, but a girl in a bangles gets bonus points.
I would also say lots of braclets can also work.
-He

Swarm! Swarm! Swarm!

These ugly Flower Headbands seem to be real popular all the sudden. I hope bees start attacking everyone who wears these headbands. Who woke up in the morning and decided a freakin flower on your head was a good idea? Half these girls wearing the dumb things have flowers that are bigger then thier heads. Are you kidding me? I hope bees swarm and attack everyone who steps outside with these ridiculous things on their heads.
-He

Uggs are Ugly...

Its the middle of summer, yet I continue to see people wearing these dumb looking things all over. Uggs are ugly. Uggs make you look ugly. They shorten your legs and make a good looking girl look short and stumpy. (i.e. Hayden above) If you cannot see how obvious this is, well then you need more help then an expert such as myself can provide. I don't care if its 5 degrees out and these keep your feet warm, do not wear these. -He

How not to look good at the park

I've always been a bug fan of parks. Laying out on the weekend is a great way to unwind and even meet some new people. Curling up in the fetal position on a sunny day doesn't scream hotness. Stick with a bathingsuit and laying flat for best results.
-He

Talk about a Croc of Sh*t

These ugly plastic Crocs were popular before the champ (me) started this blog. Well I am glad to announce they are almost wiped off the face of the Earth. According to some Washington Post Article I found, "Last year the company lost $185.1 million"..."The company's toast," said Damon Vickers, who manages an investment fund at Nine Points Capital Partners in Seattle. "They're zombie-ish. They're dead and they don't know it."
I hate to take pleasure in other people's failures (well not really) but its great to hear another horrible trend is soon to be gone forever. Crocs Suck.
-He

Socks and Sandals...

Talk about a great way to keep the ladies away, this guy hit the jackpot. Now understand for a moment by the looks of this guys its possible he has never been laid in his life. He shall serve as a reminder to us all, socks and sandals are not to mix.
-He

Ninja Shoes...

More like devil shoes if you ask me. I won't even go near a girl wearing this crap. I could careless if they are "comfortable" or "cute". They are the ugliest shoes ever made. I am calling for a ban on all women who are seen wearing these shoes. We will no longer accept this look as acceptable. Strap on some heels and get the f*ck out there.

-He

BIG Flirt..

Rule #1: NO fatties
Rule #2: no writting on the ass. I thought we were done with all that.
-He

Got Style? Probably not...

Do you think you have style?
Think you look good?
Need some advice?
Wanna see if your gonna impress your date?

Well here is your chance to see what I have to say. I am after all an expert. Email a picture to fashionbyhe@gmail.com.

-He

Arm tattoo? Really?

Now I'm not a fan of tattoos on girls in general. But I can admit when one looks sexy. This would not be one of those. A flower on your arm? Come on your better then that, no way anyone thinks this is remotely attractive. -He

No bra please

Take off the bra!! How do girls let themselves walk out of the house like this...this shirt wasn't designed to wear with a bra...or at least not that one. How do I know this and they don't?? A little bra here and there can be sexy, but this is a total turn off. Don't let it happen again. -He

I think you pooped your pants

Trying to catch up with some old pictures...I know these parachute pants are popular now...but I think they are real bad...looks like she's carrying around a load in her pants. Stay away! -He

Welcome

Welcome to my blog...I will be searching the country for the best and the worst in fashion. I have absolute no training or experience in the fashion industry however, I believe my opinions are accurate.
Check back for updates on the good, some bad, and hopefully some really bad. Don't worry I will also be including what I consider to be the good stuff as well.
See ya out there!!

-He